What to Do When God Says NO
When I was probably around nine years old, I really wanted to go to my friend’s birthday party, and I asked my mom, but she told me no. I kept asking my mom why, and in my nine-year-old mind, she could not give me a good enough reason as to why I could not go to the party. See my parents are from Haiti, and they held a superstition that prevented my siblings and me from ever going to sleepovers, friend’s homes, or birthday parties when we were younger. Their logic to this day is a mystery.
However, I really wanted to go to my friend’s birthday party, and even though my mom kept saying no–I refused to accept her no. So, I put on my best dress. Combed my hair. Found a Barbie doll still in its box and placed it in a gift bag. I walked to the door. Sat on the steps and began to cry. I cried, cried, and cried. I wept about how bad I wanted to go the party and how it was not fair that I couldn’t go.
I kept on crying, and eventually, my tears wore my mother down, and she took me the party.
I would use this crying spell numerous times again to get my way with my mom.
However, what I would come to learn through age and time is that this tactic does not work with God.
Sometimes you can desire something so much that you pray about it, fast for it, cry about it and still get no answer. It can be a desire for something good, like the healing of a loved one, a husband, a job, an opportunity, friends, and so forth.
Now I can not give you an answer as to why God says yes sometimes and no other times.
What I can offer is some wisdom that I have learned along the way that has helped me navigate through the journey of asking God and waiting to receive the answers to my prayers.
- Sometimes we often mistake a wait or be still with a no.
We all know #thestruggle of waiting on an answer to prayer. Especially if it is a prayer request that has been ongoing for five years and more. Honestly, I think this is where a lot of us lose faith because we prayed a prayer on Monday and wanted it to be answered by Friday. When God does not answer our prayer as speedily as we think he should, we become discouraged, hopeless and even bitter.
God does not work on our timetable. While we may be concerned with living it up here on earth, life for us does not end at death. Eternity is in our hearts, and we have to trust that in our waiting God is working all things for our good. Just because it is taking 5, 10, 20+ years for you to see an answer to your prayer, doesn’t mean it is a no. Years of waiting is not a no from God. Don’t lose faith in God’s ability to come through for you just because you do not receive the answer when you think you should
- Keep praying.
Pray all the time. (1 Thess 5:16-18) Jesus told his disciples a story about a man who went to visit his friend at midnight to ask for bread. Initially, the friend told the man to go away but eventually arose to help his friend. The only reason the friend responds to the needs of this man was due to his persistence. (Luke 11: 5-8) Keep praying and keep asking because God hears your prayers. (1 John 14-15) Your prayers move God’s heart, and he does not turn a deaf ear to those who cry out to him.
- Surrender the outcome of your prayers to God.
Ah, this is another big one that I am always learning. Sometimes we pray for God to do something in our lives, like provide a need or heal a loved one or send a spouse, but we have already determined in our minds, the when, the how, the where and more. I have found myself disappointed and heartbroken because I felt or thought God was going to answer my prayer a specific way that when he didn’t, I almost missed his response to my request. When we pray, we should pray with trust believing and knowing that God has the right to answer how he sees fit. God’s thoughts are not our thoughts, and his ways are not our ways. ( Is 55:8-9) Open your heart receiving the answer, however it comes from God.
- Remember God is infinite.
The Bible mentions time and again how the greatness of God is unsearchable. God is all-knowing we are not. God is omnipresent we are not. He is without bounds and limits. We are finite. Although we may have questions and desire clarity as to why God may not answer prayers as we think he should, the answers we can come up with, come from a limited perspective. We do not see the end, and we do not know tomorrow. When you begin to see the magnitude of God and how he knows more than we ever will, you’re reminded to believe. To believe in something bigger and wiser than you. Remember that this relationship with God is a faith walk. The Bible does not say that the just shall live by logic or intellect. It says the just shall live by faith. (Heb 10:38)
Although this is the end of this post, I know there is so much more to be said on this topic, and I hope to explore it deeper in the next blogs. Remember that there are times when God will say yes. Times when he will say no and times when he will say wait. Although we may not understand it all–the why and how, we can trust the One who will continue to reveal his love for us as we draw closer to him
